Chastening--by Lisa Tait

“Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you—“ (D&C 95:1)

This verse introduces a revelation in which the Lord calls the Saints in Kirtland to repentance for failing to take seriously the command to build a “house” (temple). Beyond the immediate context, however, this statement from the Lord teaches some important principles about His perspective on the nature, purpose, and results of chastening.

We should first understand what “chasten” means. We might tend to think of it in terms of “scolding” or “punishment.” However, this verse seems to equate love and chastening, while words such as scolding or punishment do not have a strong connection to the idea of “love.”

In seeking to understand the concept of chastening, it helps to remember that this process involves two parties: the chastener (the one who does the chastening) and the recipient, the one who is chastened. As the chastener, the Lord explains his perspective in order that we, as the recipients of chastening, might accept and act upon it correctly.

First, then, we must understand the perspective of the chastener. The 1828 Webster’s dictionary defined “chasten” as follows:

“To correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender;… to purify from errors or faults.”

The current Merriam-Webster online dictionary adds the following:

“to prune (as a work or style of art) of excess, pretense, or falsity : refine; to cause to be more humble or restrained: subdue.”

Chastening, then, should be thought of as correction, purification, refinement. This is what the Lord means when He says “whom I love I also chasten.” From God’s perspective, chastening is an act of love, motivated by His desire to purify and refine us to reach our full potential and become more like Him.

In this light, the more modern definition of “chasten” as “pruning” is significant. An experienced gardener knows that it is often necessary to cut back a tree or a bush significantly each year in order to help the plant continue to grow in a healthy manner and produce the highest quality fruit or blossoms. A bush that is left to grow wild will often become unproductive. Those many cuts and slices often look ugly and seem drastic at first, but a few months later the results prove how beneficial, even necessary, the pruning was. This is the point of President Hugh B. Brown’s famous talk, “God is the Gardener” (audio available here; also published as "The Currant Bush" in the New Era, April 2001.) 

Most of us understand how this concept applies to the parent-child relationship. Parents love their children and want to help them grow and develop; therefore, they must at times correct—chasten—their children. “This is for your own good,” right? Likewise, we might think of the teacher-student interaction in this way. Those seemingly critical comments written in the margin of the paper you slaved over for weeks are intended to help you see how you could improve it.

The problem is that as fallible human beings, parents (and all of us) can easily cross over the line from chastening intended to be for the benefit of our children into simply venting or indulging in anger for its own sake, or even into exercising unrighteous dominion and abuse. This is when “chastening” becomes “scolding,” and most of us can relate to how it feels to be on the receiving end of that equation.

We have to remember, though, that the Lord’s chastening will never cross that line. Here is one of those places where we can’t let what people do to each other color our understanding of a word the Lord uses in His own way.

When we are on the receiving end of chastening, then, the question is what we will do with it. Will we accept it and use it as intended? Or will we resist, allowing our pride and feelings to be hurt? Will we ask, “Why me?” and cry, “This isn’t fair!”? Will we act like small children (or maybe not so small) who throw a fit and become inconsolable when they don’t get their way? Or will we look inside ourselves and ask, “What can I learn from this?” Will we turn to the Lord and ask Him to help us understand His purposes in our lives?

Note that in D&C 95:1 the Lord explains a further purpose for chastening: “I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven.” If this is the case, then it follows that one of the most productive responses we can have to chastening is repentance. It is surely not the case that every time we experience chastening in our lives it is because of a specific sin we have committed. However, we should keep in mind that that could be the case. Sometimes we may need to repent of something definite. But it may also be an opportunity for us to identify a weakness that is holding us back. Without feeling that we are worthless and totally unworthy, we can recognize that the chance to identify and overcome any of our own limitations is a true blessing and act of mercy by the Lord. There are so many things we can’t see about ourselves—chastening truly can be an opportunity to learn something new and develop a new strength by overcoming a previously un-tested weakness (see Ether 12:27).

Some of the most powerful experiences I have had in my life have come in answer to the simple prayer, “What do you want me to learn from this?” It’s really a variation on the suggestion I’ve made before that sometimes we need to pray about what to pray about.


Now, all this having been said, here is the question for further discussion: How can we recognize chastening in our own lives? What are some forms the Lord’s chastening might take? Most of us won’t receive a direct revelation like those in the Doctrine and Covenants (Section 93, for example) that specifically calls us to repentance, so how can we recognize when this process is occurring in our own lives?

Post some of your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.